Thursday, September 21, 2006

Love, Unrequited Style

My girl Ellen, aka The Red Mojito (mojito, yummmm), who when she is not making me laugh is making me think (scary combo), posed a question--why do people like cats? And I responded thusly, "for the same reason we have crushes on movie stars--unrequited love. It's all about the melancholy." We love our cats and, at best, they tolerate us. We adore our movie stars (marry me, Viggo, I promise you won't regret it), and they wouldn't know us from a hole in the wall. Isn't it true? I'm all about the unrequited love. And if you asked me for a list, of course I would have to say "Alphabetical or chronological?" and "Imaginary or real?" and "How much time do you have because it's a pretty extensive list."
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Starting with Donny Osmond back in grade two to the present day. And I can't "out" my latest unrequited one because it could lead to public humiliation for me. Maybe someday. I'll give you a hint though. I'm a sucker for accents, especially any and all derivatives from the Commonwealth Realms. I'm also a big time sucker for smart guys, oh, and cute, oh, and a nice bod doesn't hurt. (And if you're making an educated guess, for heaven's sake don't post it in the comments; this is a public blog. Email me and we'll talk.) I'm narrowing the field too much. We all have unrequited loves--be they human, spiritual or material (think Tilli Tomas or Alchemy Haiku). There certainly wouldn't be a music industry if we didn't obsess over relationships lost or never found. And literature would definitely be the poorer should we collectively awake and say, "No more loving people or things that won't love me back!" Melancholy may be an acquired taste, but once embraced can become addiction. The sweet despair, the divine discontent. The complete control. That's the heart of my unrequited love; I'm forced to admit. My imaginary lovers never color outside the lines or memorize the wrong speech. The pain is bittersweet--a tiny bit bitter but mostly sweet. Very like the glamorous illnesses in stories of old in which women in gauzy dresses dwelt in opulent sanitoriums langorously awaiting heroes' arrivals. It's not the gut-wrenching, limb-severing pain of real life when people walk away and won't give you a second (or third or hundredth) chance or where the person or feline or fiber you would die to have won't give you the time of day. I will try to live in the real world, honest. But don't fault me should I repair at regular intervals to mingle with my unrequited lovers. And don't ask me about it because I won't kiss and tell. Okay, maybe I will.


Anonymous Kathy said...

Accents, smart, cute and nice bod? Sounds like many of my unrequited loves!

I have no clue who your love is and I won't guess because that just may give away mine!

9/21/2006 12:33:00 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

One good thing about a movie star crush is they are never a REAL threat to a relationship. I have couple guesses, but I won't tell (not here anyway :) )

9/21/2006 05:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Ellen said...

I love this rumination on unrequited love and melancholy.

And, as I told you in an e-mail, your explanation for why people like cats is the best I've ever heard. I'm a dog person, so these things are not readily apparent to me.

But you have beautifully clarified the cat conundrum!

9/21/2006 08:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Lorinda. You have beautifully summed up a conundrum that I am dealing with right now. Never watch the LOTR trilogy with your husband if you are trying to sort out serious marital issues. It just makes you want to be an elf and gracefully run off into the sunset with Orlando Bloom.
I have to say, though, that I adore my cats for other reasons as well. They really are sensitive little animals. I love how they know when I need someone in my lap! (And sometimes when they don't and they feel it's ok to sit on the scarf I am 8" from finishing.)

9/23/2006 08:19:00 AM  
Blogger SCarrGo said...

I loved this post, because, *sigh*, like everyone else on the planet, I'm usually in the middle of some crush! HA! These things are always better if it is a movie star or something, then you can maintain perspective.

The control is definitely the thing. Imaginary Lover Boy is PERFECT, never says stupid stuff, never steals the covers, etc. By virtue of the fact that I've never met him and never will, I never need to worry about him, ever. Glorious, isn't it?

9/26/2006 10:41:00 PM  
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