Monday, January 23, 2006

L'art pour l'art or Lunatiques pour les chats lunatiques

It's true, we've become a cat-obsessed family. We are in love with our cats, and sometimes they deign to show us affection. Usually to get one of the three basic needs met--food/water, clean litter box, and the warm comfortable spot in which you are seated. Anyway, I decided, after Alana knit herself a cap on the round loom to include ten-year old Jack in the activity so he wouldn't feel left out. What was I thinking? First we/he wrapped the yarn too tightly around the pegs and it WOULD NOT budge. He quickly decided this was a lame project and returned to the NASCAR PS2 game he was playing. Next I thought, well, we could try crocheting. We agreed on a simple pattern (crochet skills very rusty after a thirteen-year hiatus), and I went to the store to get the yarn. They didn't have the color he wanted, so I went to Yarn Mecca (aka Michael's) and found the perfect yarn. It looks just like our pets. Needless to say, I bought it and headed home with big plans to crochet or knit an afghan with Jack. I got home and tried out the pattern before sitting down with Jack (still playing NASCAR). I realized two things. Chenille is hard to crochet with, and I don't really remember what all the instructions mean. So I ripped out the forty-two attempts at a crocheted afghan and went with plan B. Knitting. Any moron can knit, right? Maybe, but can any moron teach someone to knit? Not so much. We sat down and tried, and I'm sure you've already guessed, it was a complete failure. I realized I'd have better luck trying to scale the outside of the Sear's Tower without equipment at night than to teach my very active LEFT HANDED ten-year old boy to knit or crochet. So I did what any logical person would do. I googled. Surely I could figure out how to teach a lefty to knit. I found the instructions, printed them out, and once again tried the experiment first myself. I used to buy funny "quipish" things for my left-handed friend and roommate, Laura, like "Hire the Left-Handed; they're fun to watch." Now it's karma time. Try watching a confirmed right-hander (please God, don't ever let my right side be paralyzed and I have to use my left) trying to knit left-handed. More fun than earth people. It was a bust. I felt like I was standing in front of a fun-house mirror trying to write backwards. Plan C. I'll knit a combo quilt using the colors of our pets. Silver and black for Jasper, light brown and black for Gino (our honorary Yorkie-cat), dark brown and black for Jinx, and plain old black for Mr. Kitty. Maybe someday we'll find someone who can teach a lefty to knit. Or I'll wait until the stroke hits and figure it out then.


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